happy enough just to see.

2006-09-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

U might think that i dun care alot for u last time but now, it's different!Again i fall in love with u and i hope we can last until end of our fate!OKAy??About ?????? i have give up on her le dun scared that i will go back to her. now is to be with u, shower u with all my loves and hugss!So pls dun give up so easily.no matter wad i will be here for u tis time, i swear!! thanks for giving mi a special chance!i will cherish tis chance. i will listen to u do wad u wanna mi to do from now on.NOw wad i wish to do is to shout as loud as i can that ILOVEYOU to let everyone noe that i'm xinfu to have u!!U are the onli one who filled mi heart!! HOpe we can start anew this time and treasure one another!

ILOVEYOU ALWAYS

2006-08-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

What if;

Sigh, both knee hurts alot. First left which made me cry then now right. but alot stuffs which is holding me back, badm, ball and dance. class and cca got in. I feel so kuku. and making up those steps was tiring. And my cough's getting worse like nobody business. sick for quite some time eh. but i refused to see a doctor, and still eating all those stuffs i'm not supposed to. oh well, i'm stubborn.

and i'm sorry.

Anw i realised one main thing i'm very afraid off is, pain.
The fact that it made me cry so many times shows it all right?

I screwed the chi test today! Write nonsense, wasn't awake. Lucky borrowed sk for dictionary or i'll be dead. and joke of the day hor! haha! so school went on and walked to compass with chaipeng aft sch to meet the others.
Oh and i also don like the p. Stupid irridiot. woke up SO early in the morning depriving this pig of her sleep. I took the first train can! Somemore reach the station 10mins before. then stupid 119 took so long. haha. and well, i was late. haha. so laid on the floor before assembly like a dead. i'm so tired.

Father seems angry eh. Cos i wan go play and train when i'm so sick.
oh dear, i'm sorry.. and i know being so stubborn won get me anywhere.

Well, i'm getting tired, really.
Yawns.

And you're giving me the impression that you don care.
andmaybethatscosyoureallydon.

Life is just a big jumble that moves along at its own pace

and if you're in a hurry then maybe

you should never have been here in the first place.

Ahhhh, why oh why, is there such things as keeping things in?
ihateit.

You're so out of my league
I show you no emotion
Don't let you see what you're doing to me
I imagine the two of us together
But I've been living in reality
whatifitoldyouthetruth?

Be happy eilis, be happy (:

Play along with me, will you?
Keep me entertained, like a big kid.
Even if you have to fake it, Do it.

Can you lie and blink it through,
Pretending that you care, and you really do?

2006-08-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

things i so much regretted;hurtingyou

walked ALOT ystd. Well, i guess i'm a super lousy pok singaporean! Claimed alot of times i got lost ystd. haha! well i should spend more time with the river i guess. haha oh and stuck on a bridge with airen, for almost an hour?! haha the feeling of being stuck in a human traffic was well, haha! I've never seen so many humans in my life man. and now i should know the bad stuffs about being short. haha i can't breathe! and bangs into ppl's shoulder, not head. laughs.

oh and i enjoy walking in marina square eh! I feel so tiny there. walking one whole big round and realising the place we wanna go is just next to the one we just saw. yeah, i lost. kukunehneh :D

Sigh my left palm hurts alot alot alot. Swollen eh. Its either hit on smth hard, or that trng did pt, fell and landed on palm. super pain! ):

and mario dunno evaporate go where! i need my stuffs! haha!

C'mon ppl, BE HAPPY! (((:
canyounotmoveon?
All the best to everyone, in everything! (:
whatifisaidineededyouhere?

Damn, i need a ranting machine.

I wanna get high, but I never could take the pain
'Cos it would blow away my soul like a hurricane
Like a one man band clapping in the pouring rain
If I know where I'm going, I don't know from where I came

Where we gonna be in summertime?
And are we gonna see the heavens shine
Like diamonds in the sky?

As soon as they come
The feelings they go
All alone, on a one way road

will you still love me in the morning?

2006-08-11T23:56:00.000-07:00

No Promises;

Well, since its meant to be broken, then why promise?

sigh, training is super !!! these days. I don't know what is going wrong. Man, i need help to cope with distraction! haha nvm, i'll try.

bused down to yishun alone, far eh, quite long ride, but kinda hoped it'll be longer. listened to songs, and well, thought alot.

And damn, i missed the fireworks just now! ))):

okay, i'm tired. i'm a pig, i want to sleep (:

hmm aft talking to airen, i do admit here that i feel kinda tired, she says she don understand me, neither do anyone i guess, for one fact which i agree with her. There's no point saying your troubles and all out and in one way adding to the burdens of others. I do thank all those who care for me, for trying, but its alright. You know eilis can do it, right?

Same question shoots right back at me,
Am i assuring myself or assuring others?
Number 1 oh number 1.

Someone agreed i cause ppl to worry without knowing, really?

Well, to someone, i don really want you to get hurt, Seeing you treat her, infact everyone so nicely, yet you never get good things in return. Yes i'm upset. You're a nice person, well, don worry! I'll pray, wish and hope that happiness will come your way soon, just wait and see! haha. Have faith my dear, not everytime it'll be bad, maybe there's hidden bliss? HAHA! well i'm here always though (((:

Well, life's a long run indeed.
Stamina, strength, faith, perserverance?
All of them, and so much more.

This song's super nice (:

It's funny when you find yourself

Looking from the outside

I'm standing here

But all i want is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe

Miracles could happen

'Cause now i have to pretend

That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale

My dream when I'm not sleeping

A wish upon a star that's coming true

But everybody else could tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody

That I heard you singing

And when smiled

You made me feel

Like I could sing along

But then you went and change the words

Now my heart is empty

I'm only left with used-to-be's

And once upon a song

I know you're not a fairytale

And dreams were meant for sleeping

And wishes on a star

Just don't come true

'Cause now even i can tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

Because i liked the view

When there was me and you

I can't believe that I could be so blind

It's like you were floating

While i was falling

And I didn't mind

Because i like the view

I thought you felt it too

When there was me and you

Well, be happy people! (:

Why do we always seem, to want what we can't have?
willyou?

Cherish and Fate.

2006-08-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

Upon the fireworks;iwish.

Its good enough that i can see so many happy ppl around.
its alright, i can handle it ):

Gave my wishes for others,
And i hope they'll come true.
I dare not wish because,
iknowitwoncometrue.

I dare not long for anything, anymore.

And i thought maybe, all will someday lead me back to you.
if i ask you to play for me like the past, will you?

I didn't know what is fate until,
imetyouonthestreets.

i wanna ball, i wanna watch fireworks, i wanna play sparkles, i wanna be spoilt, i wanna be pampered, i wanna love and to be loved, i wanna play, i wanna laugh out loud, i wanna cry, i wanna be happy forever!
but there's one thing i don wanna be. i don wanna be perfect!
andiwantedsomuchmore):

Maybe i should ban myself from your blog then.
idonwantittobehowidonwannaittobe.

Alright ppl, be happy! (:

and, Guo Qi Jie Kuai Le! :D

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

Why do we always seem,
to want what we can't have?

if you ask, i won deceive.
forfearofrejection,keptmyloveinside.
nowtimeisrunningout,sodamnmyfoolishpride.

Hui.

2006-08-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

Back to square one; a circle again.

MG! my hse here got THREE funeral! wo de tian ah. LOL!

me: talks non stop bout tmr -
daddy: come home early tmr
me: huh why?! for what?
daddy: tmr Qi Yue Shi Wu.
me: huh? i thought wuwu all come out le? you mean tmr the strongest?
daddy: dunno.. tmr you see how lor.
me: but i nvr do any Kui Xin Shi. nth will happen! CHOY slaps mouth*
daddy: you sure nvr do kui xin shi? don look like..
me: eh stop it leh! make it seem like so scary!
daddy: better be careful.
me: OH MAN!

LOL! hahaha daddy's very lamb. hahaha oh dear. i better find some companion to pei me talk on the way home! haha i'm not scared, yet scared. haha.

yay they say cake's nice! peanut eh, peanut. HAHA :D

oh dear just quarrelled and make someone pissed again..
i'm sorry ):

Roles switched.
youme,meyou.

Have you seen your sun set,
Fade beneath a rain cloud.
Have you ever chased your dreams away?
Did you ever think that
Life was just a never ending road of lonely days?

I stand tall, but i fall, the moment i think of you.

Hui.

2006-08-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

i want to watch fireworks and play sparkles!!! ):
~~imissthepast!)':~~

2006-08-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

Sigh.):

Coughing like i dunno what now, kinda xinku.. just finished up art grp thing, thanks tannie! Sigh had a long tiring day, trng was, well played like a goon. dunno what i doing. kinda mindblock for the whole day. Super tired. but well, had fun thou came home late! thanks so much (: can't say what we did cos.. haha! Sigh i'm tired, and i'm coughing like xzxz!

i never told anyone what's happening now.
there's no need now. but i felt my heart frustrating JUST now.
I need a chill pill.

Smth to say to someone alright..
Please, cheerup! Like i've said, a relationship can't go on smoothly when the two of you refuse to clear things out with each other.. It will happen again and again. Cmon, is it worth giving up smth you've been wishing for all this while? Take the initiative.. look at things differently, and maybe it'll be better? Don be so silly my dear, now its not about those stupid silly sacrificial things. These are only for tvs. This is reality, yes, you're thinking for others, but isn't it time to think for yourself? There's no such thing as sacrificing for love. To think of it, its kinda dumb you know.. hmm well, i just hope you'll think it throu and not make this a rash decision that you'll regret. Well, all the best and CHEERUP! i'm here to give you opinions like always (=

Many things happened, so happy, some otherwise.
Some ppl sad, some ppl happy.
Some gave up, some held on.
Some laugh, some cried.
well i think someone is veyr happy at the moment but have yet to tell me. Nvm, i'll wait for your good news then. I do need smth happy to make me contented thou i alr know :D
Well, that's life isn't it?
nthgoesmyway.

But well ppl,
Life is beautiful! (=
butitsdarkontheinside.

urgh.

yes i'm not so happy, so?
youmovedon):

yes, there are many, many things i regret.
ihopeyoustillfeelthesame.onlyone?butno.

She's got a pretty smile
It covers up the poison that she hides
She walks around in circles in my head
Waiting for a chance to break me
A chance to take me down
Now I see the burden you gave me
Is too much to carry too much to bury inside

times have past, feelings changed.

Hui.

2006-08-03T23:29:00.000-07:00

The untrue truth; ):

Both knee hurts! ): ystd hurt till hard to walk. I realised got so many injuries. Scratch knee when trng and didn't realise. haha fell down alot of times. Played ball aft sch, fun eh. Its been duper long since i last played! but well, bent 3 of my right hand fingers when catching rebound. SUPER pain ok. Now still, move it also pain, then type also pain, swollen ):

Anw aft sch was :DDD Though alot of dunno-what-to-dos, played ball 1/2way got called up, dunno where mrs lim's " gracious fruits" disappear to(haha!), then sat watching interhse. number 1 was super amused k! We laughed non-stop cos i kept making stupid spastic faces and disgusting eeyer poses, not mentioning high belt buck teeth! LOL! Laughed till sorethroat, can't imagine how stupid i was eh #1! haha stop laughing at me! and son is stupid also k! haha.

Anw ran here and there cos other grp members were busy and ms teh was being damnnn nice la! haha now i realise. Then up to help gg and all. haha compass, then! SK! yay so super shiok ok. saw many ppl too (: Told sng, i never had so much fun since xzxzxz years ago! haha played against 3 tall guys. I really miss balling (: I like the feeling, the fun, the laughters. jump jump jump! yay! We tried hard, and had fun, we really did. all thanks to #32, #33 and ah girl! :D I really enjoyed, balling (:

but i think i'm gonna be sick. cough, sorethroat, but i still eat things that worsen it..haha. Sigh knee pain, and i twisted my toes many times and ystd hit it against my chair! Super pain ok. Pain till can cry. And now my fingers are hurting badly. Sigh, i'm getting more and more clumsy ): haha but i don really mean the sad face cos thou i scared pain, i don really mind the pain (:

Who am i to know?
Iknowitsnotmyproblem,butwell,icare.

Anw, i really hope things go well for all the couples out there.
Sigh, too many things are going on ard, i feel so lost.
Very complex, i'm too young to understand. I'd rather not.
I just want a simple and carefree life with no one disturb,
I want to ENJOY. but well, i don wan my friends sad and troubled!
C'mon, be happy ppl. Things won go well in a relationship with just one party giving in. Hmm, its times like this when you need each other, hold on tgt and be strong. Nothing can bring you guys down (: Keep believing.
You have each other, why not treasure and not lead this to a regret?
We only live this life once, its worth going all out to go for what you want.
What's meant to be, will mean to be (:
Ren.
likeicandoit.

Well, i miss this. Goodbye my Lover, if only you'd rmb.

Did I dissapoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blind and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind but then I knew it,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.(2x)

I am a dreamer and when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.(2x)

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.(2x)

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.(2x)

Leave it.

If you won't say, i won't know.
but i know its not the same right?
youvemovedon.

why break the spell?
whydoesitalwayshappen?

Hui.

2006-07-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

Ni kuai le ma?

Hmmm i think many should ask themselves this qns? but at the end, rmb to ask yourself, are you trying to convince others or yourself?

Morning blues, nic said i banged into someone, then i fell back, she pushed me forward, then i continued walking. Then she asked me, did you realise you just bang into someone? And i went huh? then looked ard, got meh?

Chinese lesson was like primary sch eh. Drew on sng's book. Then she whacked me, i whacked her, she wacked me, then i PIAK! haha damn loud and i think painful eh.

I held a basketball today,
many thoughts came,
I realised,
Wo yi jing hen jiu mei da qiu le.
Wo hen xiang hen xiang yi qian da qiu de zi wei.
Somehow i felt, i lost confidence. All.
Or maybe, i never had confidence before at all.
I only thought i have, but now i realised,
Im wrong.

Wo xing tong de gan jue you hui lai le.

Today is an important day, i admit.
I'm sorry, not to have wished you, or spoken to you at all.
This morning was bad, and now too, but no one knows what's happening.
Its okay, i'm used to keeping things eh.
Was actually finding the way back, but smth happened ystd made me lose my way all over again.
Think about alot of things, oh how we regret those things we do.
Alot things happening now, i really don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for everything, including ystd.
The friendship test i said we took, sorry to have screwed it.
Still, like beast said, this one year of friendship is smth worth celebrating. And i admit it didn't come by easy.. So, i stick to my point, we're Gfs that never break.
I'm sorry, and happy one year anniversary.

Where's my Hahas, Where's my smiles?

I don deny the fact that wo hen nan guo.
Wo ye hen xiang ku.
but i don see any shoulder..

This morning i sat in the train alone, listen to song, think and...

Sighing is my habit.

I thought you were my dream when i'm awake,
but now i realised,
Dreams were only meant for sleeping.

you can't lose what you never had?
but i've lost what i used have.

2006-07-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

You don have to understand.

Didn't wanna blog actually.. Kinda think blogging no use alr. but well, since i'm here, means i've got smth to say i guess..

And thanks passerby for tagging! haha i think i know who are you. HAHA!
hey there dottie and denise! (: hahaha thanks for bothering to scold those idiots, oops i mean weird name humans at my tagboard yeah? haha but don bother cos i don really give a damn. Let them scold whatever they want lor.. haha its their mouth, i can't control it, so maybe i'll accept it! (: Don worry bout it.

and dottie, don think its ur fault la. I scolded those idiots (and i mean it) at your tags cos i think they're assholes k. I've had enough of what nonsense they've been tagging you and son, they wanna come play at my blog let them be lor. i think they are just jealous of you guys. lol. Just leave you guys alone (: If they're childish to come tag me when i've got nth to do with it, i shall childish back with them (: Since i'm kinda bored with nth to do, i don mind. I can bring them to 77th street and get a life (:

oh and of cos, thanks idiots/assholes, oops i mean weird people (with names like damnu and ...), thanks you guys for being so bored and chose to tag at my board! I'd love to admit that this is childish of you guys and i hate to admit i know who are you. haha i'm not plain dumb alright. You'll see. If you think what you say will affect me, and damnu, if you think you're such a lamer, thinking of cute sia? Maybe you should go be a clown. but do expect no response. i think you're thinking too highly of yourself. Thanks for giving me your truthful comments and i'll rmb to take it into heart. Yupp takecare and giving my most sincere wishing that you'll find smth better to do than spending time spamming ppl's blog. oh how i pity those lil things you choose to do. Oh and just to remind all, 7th mth is coming! LOL! :D

Respecting others, is respecting yourself (:
Do have some self esteem yeah?

And i thought childish things will only happen to a 3yr old. But looking at this, i guess i'll need a super genius 3yr to do such things. haha

We have life to live, not to ruin (:

Oh happy belated birthday yvonne and happy birthday in advance to small ferly! thanks for the mini party, her birthday is on 29th june. Had fun and all, and what i'm most happy ystd is i did two good deeds with the balloons yvonne made for me! Gave my poodle balloon to this small girl cos she was looking at it and my flower power one to this guy who asked where to buy it and asked if we could sell it..Asked if he's giving his gf or smth then He said his girlfriend wants it (i dunno if its girl-friend or girlfriend) haha. So without another word i just gave mine to him! yay i'm happy seeing other ppl with joy! (:

Good luck and all the best for those taking Prelims and CT3 yeah! Study reaaaal hardddd and yupp, everyone can do it. Have faith! (:

Aidefangxiangzaobudao
Wozainixinzhonghaishengduoshao
Wodeyanleibuzhongyao
Zhiyaonijidehuilaijiuhao
Waimianshijiechaoyounao
Niyaoxiaoxinzhaoguzijihao
Meiyoulewoqianshouheyongbao
Qingniqianwanbaozhong
Haobuhao?
Sng ah sng! Nice song eh ? (:

And believe me, I'm just like any other girl who wants tender loving care.
But i've learnt to be strong.Maybe thats why..lovedon'tcomemyway.

There are many obstacles we have to face in life,
but its depending whether you're willing to face
and dare to cross each and every hurdle you meet.

Too many things were left unsaid?
No, I guess..

Everything's left unsaid.

I'll take it as a fact that i myself,
brought everything back to the past.
iwantedsomuch,butiguessimustbefirm
ijustwantedyoutocatchmewhenifall,
tobeherewithme,iguessitstoomuch.

Wo lei le,

hen lei hen lei..

Zhen de lei le.

From everything, to nothing.

2006-07-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hello.

i said i'll blog this out! Got 4 ppl bully me at kfc! Outnumber me somemore. Wj, Jm, jm's sis and angela(i found out her name)! haha i bet they will somehow see my blog and wj say she'll tag so we shall see. haha. Jm went to tell them my primary sch chou shi! One which i forgot but now.. aiyo! I rock and rock on the chair then i fell back! hahaha stupid. i'm so dead la. My pri sch damn maluating one! Laughs.

Anyway i like ah zeng. His trng is super tiring and super shiok. Trained very hard and i like (: But muscle aching all over and still went swimming with airen! face very blushed, yay i got tanner! hoho. And i said i'll malu marc! That time she created a blog just to blog about my chou shi (da wu jian xiao wu! HAHA!) Now its her turn! She kept saying "PURE LIT PPL SO SMELLY"(inside joke) but none was answering her but she continued saying! lol.

Oh dear i'm going throu a major crisis ):

World's biggest choco bar! :D

I'm really tired eh.
ruguoshuofenshoushigehetongdeqidian
nazaizongdianzhiqianwoyuanyizaiaiyibian
xiangyaoduinishuodebuganshuodeai
huibuhuiyourenkeyimingbai?
all that i ever wanted.

2006-07-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

I feel lost.

Training was super shiok today, new coach is good la. Damn tiring and all. but i just wanna train like mad. but my knee is pain. and trying to guess if this person is boy or girl. Super funny. And she's only 10yrs and can play duper well. train so hard. oh and ah sheng going back on fri! (:

Gf's not happy with me eh. oh dear, i think i spoilt her skirt and i called another girl her gf. oops, silly girl (:

I really dunno what is the problem with me.. I get pissed off super easily and get super crazy at times. I'm sorry, for all those i attituded. but i can't help it.. i lose my temper damn frequently and easily. Not in the mood to do anything. Moodswings, and i feel as thou i can't stand anything. I know no fake smiles, its not like i have, but i.. well. No one ever understands, no point saying. I'm lazy. Too many things within me, i'm like a over-pumped balloon, ready to explode at any time. i wanna explode, now. Oh sigh, i'm talking crap. Still, sorry everybody. Esp sng, joce, minpei and all those ard me. Sorry.

Eilis finding a major problem in finding Eilis.

I'm just gonna keep it from everybody.

Rushing off now! SUPER bekchek ok. Sigh. byebye.

I smelled your fragrance, and for once my heart skipped.
but when i turned, it wasn't what i wanted.
I hate to say but i.. missyou.

Cry.
wohennanguo.
but NO ONE knows.

2006-07-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

For you, I will;onlyyou.

Balled today since long time. And brother! its not your fault that i fell alright! Its my fault for banging into you! thou my back hurts but never sprain, don worry (: I don mind hurting myself bad in balling, cos it can cover up any hurt i get.

A super maluating thing happened aft sch to airen and i. Ran for bus all the way, and when reached, the last girl just went up so i don see any point about the uncle driving off without seeing me.. Super embarassing, got laughed at by the whole bus stop. Ok, you guys good ah.. laugh somemore, dunno how to stop the bus for us, esp you, my dearest son! hoho. So decided to pay cab down to hg cos well.. can't say i'm lazy right :D

And i got super fascinated at sk. that the girl whos with wj is my pri sch friend jiamin! Saw her like alot of times before but realised only till today when i heard wj call her name! wanted to keep quiet cos scared i'm wrong but couldn take it, but i'm right! ho. Oh.. so that explains why wj knows my chinese name.. die..! my pri sch chou shi how.. lol! And i seriously think balling bring many ppl tgt (:

today is a happy day for two (: and i swear bestie is damn silly ok. got so shocked and hmm traumatised! when she see the eh round round thing. lol! helped her to piece the letters tgt on the sweets and added up to what i guessed was right! ho! bluffed lee that it was from me to bestie. laughs.

Brother kept saying i'm crazy today.. Then i realised alot ppl saying it too.. but this is eilis.. right?

Convincing myself or convincing others?

No Hahas, No Nothing.
Ibroughtthistomyselfandyou.

When i didn't say i'm not alright, it doesn't mean that i AM alright.

~~iwantedsomuchtohaveyouback.~~

but i know i can't, i can't be selfish anymore.
~~iknowimustnotholdyouback.~~

You'll never know.
howmuchithoughtforyou

Xiang Nian Bian Chen Huai Nian
Xin Tong Bian Chen Xin Sui.
xiangxingwo,zheduinibijiaohao,duibuqi. danshi,jidewomendeyueding.

Like a trampled rose on the ground.
theressomuchyou'llregret,espwhenyou'retheonewhofirstletgo.
i'dneverthoughti'llmakesuchsacrificesforsomeone,butforyou,iwill.

2006-07-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

things change/

Today i realised that there are many happy people around me..
Or is it because..

The feeling of being scolded isn't nice..
I don like it.
But i promised never to show the weak side of me.

Number one said smth which made me think,
Am i trying to convince others or myself?

Just let this be the only secret i'm holding onto.
I'm sorry.

Xiang Nian Bian Chen Huai Nian
Xin Tong Bian Chen Xin Sui.

let this be over soon,
you know eilis ain't that strong.

2006-06-20T22:51:00.000-07:00

If only;

Had much laughters and fun today! Kbox was great. haha had stupid time there, enjoyed today (= love them! Stupid mon. We jinxed! So happy and stupid. Crapping with her online now. Silly woman. Oh and she told my chou shi to her mama! I thought i dropped my left contacts in the plaza toilet kept asking them to find. Vision was kinda blur so thought i dropped it. But had a weird feeling.. so reached home stare at the mirror then dunno why it appear again! haha maybe its stuck at the back of my eyeball. haha! throw face. Oh and now i realise how many pictures we took today! haha!

tp-ing alone tmr then meeting mon to study at cp then off to cheers! haha yay can see xj's stupid face. haha! HOTGIRL! :D

Oh and someone just told me smth online and i think its none of my business. And i'm not those who don care, so this must be smth big. uhhuh, not my problem.

And smth for someone out there who knows this for her.. Hmm was very happy when you told me about the happy news this morning, but was kinda upset when you called.. I hope things won turn worse for you.. Trust me, if you dunno what to do, don do anything. Cos it might be smth you'll regret later.. Why not take a short break and relax. Sometimes its just your own thinking and when it goes out, it'll be bad. Things need time. Its not worth doing smth wrong and later regret it.. I know things do get tired easily, but if you ever feel like giving up, think of the past you went throu, and ask yourself, is it worth making a lifetime regret just for making a decision so rashly? Now its true, yet if you wanna give up, i can only say sorry, but you're silly. Whats the point of fighting so hard and hurting yourself so hard when its gonna be a things which you wanna let go in the end. Don rush on things, take things step by step. Have faith in yourself and find that strength you need to carry on. It ain't easy, but impossible is nth. You can do it, keep believing, and i'm here to give you advice and help you if you ever need (=

i'm disappointed in you.

if only you know what i knew;

2006-06-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

Firefly.

stupid weiru just sent me her photo for god knows why reason. haha so cuteeeeee man (wait i need go toilet puke) hahahaha! Ugly but adorable. haha oh well. I'm so gonna have a nightmare tonight :D

Oh and i played like shit against Xm. Just can't get over it. Sigh. Scgs was better. Xj says she's really good. A consolation i guess. but i could have done better. I realise i'm always scraping my knee. Very pain. My draw super duper bad. Just my luck. haha sigh out now. Nvm, had exposure at least! Am glad. All the best to the others! (: I wanna train train train!

Oh and dottie! You've got a new daddy. hoho You introduced him to me, my lil cute bf. HAHA! :D

Isn't being a kid good? I mean, no worries, no nothing. Carefree life. I don mind the naive part.. at least when you fall down, someone will pull you up. But i'm so contradicting.. i wanna be independent yet i'm starting to feel tired.. hahaha. Kids are like they ate happy pills, never ending fun, never tired. Well, don all realise that when you're a kid, you'll wanna hurry grow up but when you're older, everything gets so complicating you'll wanna go back to being carefree just when you're a kid. Most importantly, no one will ever try to hurt you. But i guess its all the process of growing up! Not that i miss playing barbie dolls or anything, just well, life's changed. Everything different as you grew. But one thing will never be replaced. One thing you should never lose. Yourself. I'm still me (:

firefly come back to me.

2006-06-17T23:27:00.000-07:00

maybe its an intuition

oh can ignore the first two paragraphs, talking nonsense. but whew, glad i said it out. Whats important it the later part! (=

TMR'S MATCH HOW? keep thinking.
Sigh. It has been long since i last worried or somehow scared of tmr's match.. After p3 i've learnt, and not scared anymore, really. But this time I'm really worrying. Not cos of the strong opponent i'll be meeting, but cos of my health.. Sigh. Trng today was bad. As in bad cos i trained only 1/2way? footwork skipped one set. thought i could be well, five sets of multiples, 20balls. I almost can't take it. Sigh. After each set rushed straight to the window and kept thinking of giving up. But each time i gave in to the urge. Sigh. Kinda hyperventilated. Nose stuck, so use mouth to breathe, but too much. Kept assuring myself it will be ok. so continued.. Sigh. so glad perservered and finished it.. but cramps came along, making the hard to breathe become a worry. she came and i teared.

Sigh. I starting to worry, trying to be so strong will get the better of me. I hate this kinda distraction. Last time foot sprained cause me to worry. I starting to fear strong Eilis can't take it all ): I can't tell family what happened today.. Cos they sure stop me from tmr's match. I don't want to stop 1/2way for tmr's match! I know i can do it! I must have faith! Like how i've been telling ppl.. but actions DO speak louder and HARDER than words. Sigh. Pray and hope my nose will be cleared tmr. I want to do my best. Not to win, but to prove myself right. Sigh.

C'mon Eilis! JIAYOU, ALL THE WAY (=
I wanna play like how i played against jacinta or the ijtp girl.
May God bless me? hope so.
And to Airen, Owner and others, esp airen,
JIAYOU and don give up k! Thou the opponent might be alot more stronger than us, and tmr point system will be 21points, just do your best and DON give up yeah! Don have regrets! And rmb, its Singles now! not doubles! Tricks! When you try, at least you have a chance of succeeding, but once you give up, you'll have zero chance of winning. Rmb this!
GO EVERYONE! show yourself, not others, that you can do it! It's all in the mind! Make lesser mistakes, have a good mind set and well, DARE TO DREAM AND ACHEIVE FOR THE BEST! Who cares if their from st nicks, xinmin, ya dah, we're from sjc! haha DO YOU BEST! BU YAO FANG QI! JIAYOU! (=

She's right. Be strong can, but don act strong.
Kei kiang. Aiyoyo.
Oh and dinner's at the hk cafe was fun. haha and yummy. Ok i admit i'm a pig and anything's to me is yummy. but the cafe was ok only, daddy's funny and lame, but he can walk. haha!

Alright, This post is long enough. Too many sighs.
I'd better be off (=

I'm really scared.

but some things you just don't question

2006-06-16T03:51:00.000-07:00

2006-06-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes.

Past few nights and even days were really horrigeble vegetable for me. Flu and cough getting worser. Hard to breathe, feel like vomitting. Not intending to see doctor, don worry la. Eilis so strong..! haha. Hard getting to sleep, very very xinku. Have to have tissue box and dustbin by my bedside. Even sitting infront of the comp i feel like dying. Bored! Sigh.Why don panadols work? Maybe cos i still eat what i'm not suppose to eat and drink what i'm not suppose to drink. haha. I got reason why don want see doctor k! Later daddy don let me go tmr's training and tmr tmr's external training and tmr tmr tmr's individual competition. Up against Xinmin..!

Talking to silly for these couple of days. She say i can talk about love, so have been trying to console and all. Helping her to think of nicks and trying to make her understand (= Glad i talk sense. haha.

Everything else is getting so big.. I dunno what else to say.
Alright i feel like going mia for the next couple of days over the weekend. Except for badminton. Don call or msg me k! If any emergency just leave me a msg. I'll be more than willing to help (=

And i'm sorry for being so stubborn..

I still believe

The sun went down so long ago
I watched you cry I had to go
Forever only lasted just a day
And now without you by my side
The visions of a lonely life
Take me to a dream in a place so far away

I see an angel and I think of you
I watch her hide behind a smile
And then I think of what I have to do
If only I had listened for a while

The emptiness of what could be
Shows everything you mean to me
It started out a game I'd never played
If I defy the foolish pride
And find that place so deep inside
Take me to my dream, I know I have to stay

I see a rainbow and I think of you
Of what we had, of what we were
And then I think of what I have to do
If only I had listened for a while

Everybody's always asking me why
Why I did, what I did to make you cry
Please believe me when I say what I say
I didn't mean to go away
At the time I couldn't stay

I see an angel and she sees me too
And as she wipes a teary eye
I know exactly what I have to do
To start a new beginning in my life

I still believe, I still believe
A love so strong will carry on
You know there's so much to be seen
I still believe, I still believe
It's not the end let's start again
I still believe
You know I still believe

If you love some; set them free.
If they return; it was meant to be.
If they dont; they love was never meant to begin with.

I should have known that pigs canNOT fly.

Sometimes i wish that i was just a kid.

2006-06-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

fever 39.2/
plus cough + flu + sorethroat.
Whole package. Not bad.

beginning of an end.

Feeling quite xinku now..
nose like waterfall.
but i still believe i'm strong! I may not be made of steel like gf said, but i'm a strong human made of flesh and blood! :D

And i love helping and consoling ppl..!

Update more tmr.
I'm tired,
Yawns.

2006-05-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

If only;

yay there are happy people out there! Wonderful :D
hohoho.
May everyone live happily everafter (:

Bored at home, they say i pig cos woke up at 4. haha. Read my past blog entries. Stirred up many emotions i guess. haha how time flies and how much i've been throu. Now thinking of the past, how silly it seems. but wonderful thoughts did come to my mind. But all that it has been, has become history (:

I'm so lost for words, feeling so lost,
I need a guiding star tonight.

What's the use of bringing my hopes up so high, but in the end letting it drop all the way down?

Will you be with me even when the sky starts to fall?

Isn't it right to say that people alone must be strong?

Cos ain't no where in the globe i'd rather be,
Ain't no one in the golbe i'd rather see
Than the girl in my dreams who make me be,
So happy but now so lonely.

Was i wrong?

Yuanlaizhuigudandeshiwohaishinamexiangni
Yuanlaizhuibeiaideshiwobunengmainduiziji.

I need answers.

If only things would go my way/
Then Pigs can fly.

2006-05-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

All that i ever wanted.

3G and E sang this (:

Was it you who spoke the words
That things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh, but at often times, those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns tonight
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
others only read of the love
Oh, the love that I love
Love-ah-love-ah

See, I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words than I had ever heard
And I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
oOh love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little, you and I anymore
Mmm hmm
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Is the glory of a boy

cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well then im almost finally out of, finally ou-ou-out of
Finally de de de de de de de, well I'm almost finally, finally
Well, I am free, oh I'm free

And it's okay
If you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephones
Well, they're working in both ways
But if I never, ever hear it ring
If nothing else
I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else
And that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well, then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally
Finally out of words

zaiaiwoyixie.

2006-05-24T22:39:00.000-07:00

Yawns.

Today was bad. But everything is alright now. Chatting throu personal message in msn with two morons now. haha i'm glad (:

But truth is, i'm getting tired of many things already. And i'm starting to be quite pissed. Me and _ are so not tgt please? oh my, anything just ask me and stop thinking anyhow behind me k. I'm sick and tired of all this stuffs. Got play friend also think so much. Sigh stupid asshole.

No one can give me the assurance, or rather, i feel this way. Maybe i'm just being stubborn. But i'm just not worth it. I feel sad, guilty or what whenever things happen. I'm so tired now that i don even want to explain. I don't really wanna care. but even if i'm really super duper tired, i'll still give all that it takes to make a happy ending for everyone (:

Too many things hidden within me, till its hard for me to even begin with. Still, i believe i'm strong. Telling no one seems alright, at least it ensures me that no one ever do understand. but i do hate it when ppl see throu me. Everything is starting to change, including ppl. I'm scared. World's getting to complicating for me to understand. Its all so weird and scary.

Mood down when i'm alone. Abit stress. Don't worry, happy and carefree Eilis is fine (:

I don't show the weak side of me
I'll just sigh, and it'll be over (:

Thinking of the past, i ~~smiled~~sighed
Thinking of the present, i ~~lied~~sighed

I may say sighing is bad for health, but it also means breathing out bad and unecessary air :D

Can i please have a ranting machine? That fufills the requirements of being able to console and understand me (: Yeah, I'm asking for too much.

I just wanna be happy and carefree (;

2006-05-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ache

My knee very pain ):
Fell down alot times today. Netball or Badminton court.

Alot things happen today. Oh well.

I guess Airen's right. Things are actually very simple. And i do admit that I'm making things so complicating that no one understands. But guess its better if no one does isn't it? I'm thinking far too much. Its time to take a break, or my brain cannot take it (:

I need no one to care nor worry.
Thankyou very much (:

People, treasure people.

anoyone can give me a wakeup call? piak!

Yuanlaizuitengtongdebiaoqing
jingshimeiyouqing.

Tears in the night, sorrow takes flight (again)

2006-05-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

Regrets.

Balling was fun as usual today :DDD oh my. haha but there's a red scar on my hand but i've no idea how i got it. Knee and ankle's starting to hurt. And i sprain my left thumb this time! Right, now left. Aiyo. but still, i love balling (:

Oh and i don mind falling so many times alright! Cos each time the harder i'll fall, the stronger i'll get (: Painful it can be, but as long as my mind gets over it, i know i can :D

Talking to airen now. Please cheerup k! So many ppl sad, i feel so !!! unable to cheer you guys up. I may talk sense but i may talk nonsense. Sorry k! Just want all to know,
There are somethings in life that we'll never be able to forget
Thats the way life is isn't it? Some walk in and then straight outta your world, while others stay for awhile and some stay long and leave such a great mark that its hard or impossible to forget.

Why can't everyone get over and done with things? Then there wouldn't have sad ppl around. How wonderful (: Is it very difficult to forget? Yes i suppose. But if we never move on, you'll always be stuck on the same spot. and no matter how things are like, the ending will not change. Why make things so difficult for yourself in future?
Moving on, i believe, is something that everyone should learn to do.

There are things we might regret, but there's nothing we can do about it right? Or it will not be called a regret. We're given so many obstacles to face, not that things purposely turn wrong for us, but because, we're suppose to grow up and learn. There are many things i regret, and so do many ppl too. But the past is the past. We don't have a time machine to rewind time and bring us back and choose it all over again. And i believe, no matter what choice you choose, it'll lead to a regret.

Why not get on with life and forget the past?
Is one question we all should ask ourselves.
Many found the answer to the question, how about you?

Okay, i'm talking nonsense now [:

duibuqi.

Happiness, is what i believe in (:

2006-05-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

I wish I wish.

I hate to admit this, but the song sam sang in class is stuck in my head (:

Imagine me and you,
and you and me,
No matter how they toss the dice,
it had to be
The one for me is you
and you for me
So happy together

haha the tune so cute.

Oh and i love someone super duper much k! No one can take her away from me! Thanks for always showering me with things, making me feel like a pampered kid (: Who cares if you got me the cactus last time anot, I'm really surprised to see one today. Though broken before, but this shall not! I will shower it with my tender loving care (: And for going throu the trouble of coming down to hougang and meet me. And bringing adrian down! haha he sided me k! :D Thanks for remembering, cactus i love! but you, i love even more (:

Wofangbuxiadebushini,
Queshiwomenyongyoudemeihaohuiyi.

but it will never come true.

2006-05-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

caught completely off guard

Mothers day today, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY STACY! and HAPPY 9th MONTHS to BEAST! :DDD

Yay went shopping today! haha i'm so gay. haha and yay training tmr! can lose weight! hoho. Many stuffs happened over the weekend. haha so funny.

I think this song very nice (:

Thats when you turned and said to me
I dont care babe whos right or wrong
I just dont love you no more

I know that Ive made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesnt make sense to me now that youre gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just dont love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, youre gone, my fault, Im sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now its too late to turn it around
Im sorry for the tears Ive made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just dont love you no more

no one ever understands.

2006-05-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

feelings gone but memories stay

people must learn to be happy you know? (:

Heard from joce that sk and serangoon there raining very heavily now, but mine is not even drizzling! See? Mine's so cheerful :D Despite the thunders, the warning of happenings, it still did not fall. hoho.

And joce says that i'm a strong woman. yay!

Recalled what i talked t gf ystd, about falling. She said why did i choose to fall when i can choose not to. My reason was not to show that my legs were strong enough jumping down from the ledge, but i wanted to keep falling cos, i want to learn my lesson from it. To become who i am now (:

oh dear, its starting to rain now..

sadang haeyo(:

2006-05-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

I find myself thinking

Sigh all papers screwed.
Good day today! 5 5 5! :D Some knows why (:

I think Ji De Yao Wang Ji the lyrics is damn nice.

Ren wu fa jue ding wei shui dong xing,
Dan neng xuan zhe zi ji yao bu yao fang qi.

sadang haeyo.

2006-05-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

its a different story now

oh nonono.
ss was i dunno what today and BIO and pureLIT tmr?
EXAMS. tsk.

You never knew how much i went out for you,
To find those stupid things which flew away
I regretted though it was my act
but i knew i must be harsh
You never knew, and you never cared.
I'm disappointed and sad in what you've said.
No one knew, i kept it to myself.
but i'm glad that one survival was found (:

Dustbin so smelly and dirty,
but smth got me going (:
(thou it was the wrong one larrrr :D)

Here i go, so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And i know, you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone.

~~I'm sorry.~~

liuleiyezhishiganghaoeryi.

2006-04-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

beginning of an end.

oh dear. I just vomitted, none's home.
oh my. i guess i'm really sick again.
and many things to worsen it.
Coughing for the whole day.
But well, i still do shout, quarrel, run and play ball.
Why is there so many things that cannot eat when sick! But i didn't care, perhaps thats why i became like this. hohoho.
oh and i still do walk in the rain.
cough cough cough.

Encouraging the 2.4 ppl is nice, saying words to lead them on (:

Update more tmr, off to do some stuffs.

rangaishangtouledimian
woyaodezhishinizaiwoshenbian

2006-04-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

No one ever understands.

I'm tired of hiding behind these blind eyes

I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize

Caught up with airen and owner on sat. Details on airen's blog yeah? :D

Ohmy today's chinese test was damn !@#$%. Unable to think. Netball interhse on this coming thursday! ohdear.

Sam's an ass. Everything complain la. See me sian le hor. Then today piggy back, play here play there i fell and my leg hurts. Stupid dingdingdongdong. haha but still its times like now that its really nice to have someone to quarrel with (:

Owner rock, i love those jellybeans :D
Airen's so sly for the mayatang ((:
Gf, thanks for everything. Wasting your time and efforts drawing the sea of smiles again today. If you say my smile is your cure, i will (: You know i love you. Romeo, bestie and all my dear friends, i dunno what else to say but thanks (:

Kept singing this line to everyone i see.
"Bei shang tong de xin neng bu neng gou ji xu ai wo?"

Loss. Regret. Cherish.
These never occur together, but instead happen one after another.

Mood swung here and there today. Sorry all.
And i feel that boys are so irritating.

I'm all alone now, I have to be strong.
I've learnt, promises were indeed meant to be broken.

I dunno if the darkest storm would go away now,
but i will keep believing (:

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the queston why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

You forced me to become strong
When I just craved being weak.

trust me to be strong.

2006-03-31T23:03:00.000-08:00

All the things in the world couldn't make me realise.

I realised i'd rather train damn hard and be superbly tired rather then be very slack and get so bored like airen says, letagic(spell?)

Manged to catch up abit with airen today. I'm glad (:
And i love her la. (ps* i was asked to say this cos someone refuses to hang the call. I can't multi task you know. haha. Still, i really love her la (: )

Came home and realised there's no dinner. Sis wanna cook for me but said forget it. Sigh i'm tired.

Oh and i hope inner conflicts can end soon ):

Ohya some idiot lied that she didn't play my fav song, and pretended to be looking for coins but dont wanna play. In the end, the song played (: And she gave me my chidhood fav biscuit. Thanks romeo! (:

Listening to wo nan guo and yadah now. Can i sigh? I realised that sighing is kind of fun you know. haha. Sigh.

oh and let me say, i want no one to be worried of me k!
The thing i hate the most, is for ppl to worry for me.

I realised a senerio which i onced talked about with beast long ago is happening. We are always racing against time. Some say its never too late for regrets? hmmm i beg to differ. Regrets are always being realised later, or they won't be called regrets right? Sigh it always happens. Time and time again, none will realise nor put a stop to it. I guess that's guess how life is ain't it. So unpredictable, and so well, fateless.

Yellowcard's only one is back in my head.
~~Soletmegoandyouwillfindsomeone~~

Just want you to know,
All i ever wanted from you,
Was for you to be happy.
Wanted to say smth, typed it out but just deleted it. Only wanna say three words to someone out there, JUST BE HAPPY (:

I'm a very easily touched person k! hoho

Tears sometimes swell up in those eyes,
I guess its just the routine of daily life.

<3.

i sighed.

2006-03-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

Haven been coming online, saw some blogs and i'm really sorry for not being here to update.

Firstly,
HAPPY belated R&J DAY DEAREST ROMEO!
Thanks for always trying to put a smile on my face.
And always playing my fav song during recess.
You didn't come to school today, and i'm missing the song alr. haha you be happy yeah! Love you always too (:

HAPPY belated GF/STEAD DAY! 8th month-
Thanks for the little gift, i love it alot, i really do (:
Sorry if the bread taste awful, but well you know i can't cook :D
Gf, times have changed, but i still do love you as much or even more than before yeah?
Thanks for being there today, and wasting those smses on me. I trust you alot, and will be in turn there for you. Don't worry, i'm doing fine (:
I just hope you'll be happy or happier cos you know what?
We're gfs that never break (:

Pt was great today. Running 10 rounds around the basement was Woah.
oh and Ah Girl thought i was really VERY angry with her today! haha i bluffed her so many times. My acting skills not bad huh? :D

Tmr is just another thursday huh? or isn't it? hoho.

Btw, someone said my guessing very accurate! haha yes my sixth sense has often been correct :D

Oh dear, i'm missing so many ppl now.
Precious, aunty, elf. I miss basketballing with the usuals.
And i'm glad to have beast who never fail to make me smile and a idiot who never fail to make me box her. Its nice to have ppl to quarrel with in class (:
And also ppl outside class who bring smiles to face with their cheery look, i thankyou all for that (:

Alright i got to go now, shall reply the tags another day yeah?
But do continue tagging cos they make me (:

bye all (:

2006-03-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

School's tmr. Sigh.
My back very pain! Sunburned.
I can't wait to play badminton and i miss basketball!
Cough is ok, but got one big big flam which is so stubborn and don't want to come out! ohwell.
Very tired from making some things but i guess its all worth it (:

HAPPY belated BEAUTY AND THE BEAST DAY TO HUIYAN
and
HAPPY belated AIREN DAY TO CHOI! (:

In the middle of the night
That's when you caught my eye
I chased you 'round in memories
Through the breeze and the trees and you teased me but hey
The clock's turning around
And you're still playing these games
It's such a way to bring me down, down, down, don't bring me down cause...

Hey girl I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl you gotta undertow
Hey girl, hey girl don't wanna let you go

When I turned sixteen
That's when i started to dream
I chased you 'round in memories
Through the breeze and trees and you teased me but hey
Well every princess has her knight
And I'm still in it for the fight
Not givin' in I'm gonna win, win, win, I'm gonna win cause...

Hey girl I wanna catch your wave
Hey girl I wanna drift away with you
Hey girl you gotta undertow
Hey girl, hey girl don't wanna let you go

I'm never gonna let you go

No wonder others was so fast
By playing a little cheat
She knows what i know :D

happy two months (;

2006-03-12T20:59:00.000-08:00

Can we have it one more time?

Haven been updating. Kind of forgot the past events cos well, i have stm (: Anyway, sick now. Cough's ain't any better. The medicine like no use, and the feeling ain't good to wake up in the middle of the night and start coughing.

Went dd's hse ystd. Took train then realised forgot to take the puzzle so she came all the way home with me to take it. heh. She cooked lunch, which is maggie mee. haha but well, suwati's cooking is nice la. haha Then fixed puzzle, slacked and had steamboat at her hse. Did work and cabbed home (:

And and and! I don't scold chicken white k!
Stupid abcDDe. hahaha.

Anyway ystd was a good day to eat pineapples isn't it? :D

Talking to jos online now. Gosh, ain't she mushy? hahaha.

Looking in your eyes, i see a paradise
This world that i found is too good to be true
Standing here beside you
I want so much to give you this love in my heart
That i'm feeling for you.

And we can build this thing together,
Stand in stone forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now

I'm so glad i found you,
I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes to stay here with you
Take it to the good times,
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what i'm gonna do

Let them say we're crazy what do they know?
Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart

happy third week (:

2006-03-05T15:29:00.000-08:00

The mail from Everything nice was meaningful i guess. The Tweety Bird is very cute. haha anyway, the lines are hmmm right.

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible? (don ask me the meaning of this :D )
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, Sorry and Help me

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?
But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Kind of true in one way or another isn't it?

Oh art not done, haven finish studying ss. And cxw's gonna laugh at me cos all i'm gonna remember are the percentages. haha i guess i better hurry off.

Just woke up not long ago and i'm tired already.
I want food. Yawns, boring sunday.

PRECIOUS please cheerup.
If you say no one cares, then well. I'm the no one. I miss you like there's no tomorrow, you know that. Many things happened, i know. But no matter what happens, I'm here to care. I don't care if ppl say these lines are outdated, still I swore to you i'll be there. And i will not break my promise.

I'm glad yesterday's over.
And glad that things are cleared and i know how she's feeling now.
Ystd was like a test for us. I dunno if we passed, but i know we tried by holding on. She's right, its over and leave it as part of history, start with a new page of our relationship. haha she'll know who she is (:

All i can say is, stay true people!
Be truthful to one another. Believe me, the most important things in a relation, be it friends or whatever, are
Love and Trust (:

Never give up on the things that make you sm:)e.

happy second week (:

2006-03-03T23:44:00.000-08:00

JAMIE. hanging by a moment. says:
uhhuh. just dont know how to put your feelings across right?
its hard to make one understand says:
hmm you know what?
its hard to make one understand says:
actually, i do
but i just don wanna say it out
its hard to make one understand says:
maybe its better, it always is (:

Number one's right. Its like sometimes though we wanna blog down all our emotions but we don't know how to put it across and in the end would end up not blogging. Maybe thats the reason why i haven been updating.

Quite eventful day i suppose.

~~53256879~~really do link up alot of matters.

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

And we're you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

I'm a bottle/

do you believe in love?

2006-02-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

ct2 is finally over! :D

thanks for concern of many today!
i love you guys (:

Sweetheart's so cuteee and sweet! :D

heats tmr, 200m. haha running with cathy again. and joscelyn too.

Decided to delete that previous part cos ya. hahaha.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

just to hear those three words.

2006-02-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

Watched a movie which is damn suitable for boyfriend ystd. With her, silly and janet. hahaha :D:D

Talked to bf on the phone.
haha shall i be mean and blog her baichiness down? hahaha hmm i guess not. be thankful hor! :D

Hmm didn't know so many things happen, wasn't updated. Sigh, cheerup bestie. You know i know how you feel. I've been through before rem? Love is a complicating matter. Sometimes it can bring you way up, then drop you down without knowing. Expect this kinda fast change of tides my dear. You're strong, i know you are. Its over now, embrace yourself and show your smile.
Even the darkest storm would go away.
When things happen, you don't have to remember anything. Just don't forget, you've got me here. When you're down, turn to your chinese book page i-dunno-what and read the message i have for you. Though this line is old fashioned and outdated, still, "I'll be there for you, these five words i swear to you"
smile like you mean it (:
loves and hugs.

School tmr! And so dead on tuesday, bio and chem test. i need sos.

I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,
so when teardrops fall from me like rain from above,
I can brush my troubles away,
know that deep down inside,
I got sunshine in my life (:

happy first week (:

2006-02-21T22:51:00.000-08:00

Came online to help silly print stuffs.
And this Silly girl actually remembered the day we became Sillies. hahaha. 7th(: I love this Silly of mine please. Had so much fun with her. hahaha oh my.

Yawns, gonna study soon!
Many tests tmr i guess. Oh and anyway, enjoyed today! ((:

Gonna teach Fitri how to write some stuffs! hahaha so sweet la she. Coughs.

Oh and there's Heats tmr! Running 100m with like Ryl, Cathy, Pamela, and dunno who else. Oh dear. And 1500m alot ppl taking part this year. So dead. haha maybe i should pretend to faint halfway. hahaha.

I'm very tired now, hope won't fall asleep halfway. haha nvm, got ppl accompany me!

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you

(((:

2006-02-20T21:59:00.000-08:00

hahaha what a joke (:

2006-02-19T21:29:00.000-08:00

There's a chance, we should take it
Or regret it for the rest of our lives

Firstly,
HAPPY belated AIREN DAY! :D:D:D
Yes my Dearest, i know you hate it when i read you like a book cos you can't deceive me! hahaha you can fake others but not me hor. So think twice before saying anything not truthful! I know you k. And no, i won't disappoint you anymore! I'm sorry ah. Please, if you're not very glad about eh erm certain things, tell me yeah! haha hope you don't mind about what happen on Valentines. Sorry my dear! And yes, you're one whom i trust alot, and i hope i'll get much trust back from you too. Thankyou for always being there for me when i needed you. And i can tell you, I promised i'll be there and i won't forgo my promise (:
All the fun, laughters and whatever you give me, I really do treasure them alot alot. Whats more is, I love you alot alot too! (:

Oh and to Xiaojing (:
All the best to your match tmr ah!
Fight hard, you guys can do it. haha yes, i'll TRY to go down tmr. But sorry, i've training. Though this year can't see you in nationals, we'll meet soon in friendlies or what yeah? Have faith, ijtp can do it la! (:

I thank my SILLY for listening to me!
ILOVEYOUtoo. hahaha.

And phone ystd night with Precious was !!!
She's very fast and furious la. And she was lucky that she still kept her number. haha and had much laughs with that woman la. haha and she know that i wish to reach over through the phone to strangle her. hahaha. but am glas i caught up with her. I love Precious oh-so-much please. Better be honoured ah (:

Oh some random talks to whoever out there.
Hmm i dare say love is a complicating matter yeah?
I understand too that once a setback come along, its hard to be back on track. But if you never try, you'll never know. Don't worry so much about the history repeating itself yeah? Times have changed, after so long, your feelings remain the same, why not brave yourself and give it a shot? Go my dear. Don't be afraid!
Love can make you very upset but at the same time the sweetness of it is incomparable to anything else. Its indeed true that everyone do deserve a second chance. Try it again and maybe things would be a little different. Give both you and her another chance (:

Same case thats happening to me (:

Got this from the clock sch gave us last year.
"Place no faith in tomorrow,
For the clock may then be still"
Its true isn't it? If you don't care about your present, your future might not even come. Why care about the future when its not necessary? (:

Forget about the past,
Not think of the future and
Have our minds set on only the present.

back to the beginning(:

2006-02-18T20:49:00.000-08:00

I'm willing to give it another shot.

thankyou beast for making the amos cookie again. haha and its okay that adrian dropped and broke the camel, oh i mean cactus. hahaha.

Thursday match was bad, as in really bad.
They said i did well, but i don't think so.
Argh. Against Noriko? the one who won triple T. sigh and twisted foot, sometimes suddenly will very very pain. Same spot but different leg this time. Sigh at least i tried, but regretted not doing my best. Ahhhh i miss the match against Jacinta(spell?). That was really a blast. oh lost to sports school. and c div lost to amk. Sigh, both div out of northzone now. but its ok! at least we all tried (:

Stayed up to complete something though had a tiring day.
but its okay, i hope its all worthwhile (:

Cheerup everyone! After crying, just embrace yourselves! Its not the end (: There are many competitions yet to come, and you guys have years to come! haha. but sigh. was looking at my trophies, and the last year's northzone top 4 one caught my eye. Its just hard to think, we won't get the same one this year.

Ystd was fun :D
but the heart and chocolate Cs partner gave me, committed sucide from the fourth floor! oh my. now i'm really afriad to hold things near the railings. hoho.
And mr ang asked me why my socks like this and i said i wore the wrong pair to sch. hahaha.
Macs with husband, tannie, cs partner and belle was damn fun and disgusting la. haha alright, my fault. haha long story. Went belle hse and had much laughs again and down to ptm.

Adrian's adorable :D he's so sweet to kiss me on the cheek la(:
Escaped from the boring talk. Sat in canteen and had confessions. Then went to the benches at the rifle range. Sang, and lie on the benches, gazing at the stars. It has been long since i last saw so many stars. Saw Orion's belt. haha sec 2 camp memories came back (:
That moment was great.
Then Sng just had to hmm freak us out? thanks ah.

Homed with joanne and she told me somethings which really made me think. Anw thanks for telling me joanne! (:

Love does not make the world goes round.
It is what makes the life worthwhile (:

If you ask again, I won't deceive.

I've decided (:

2006-02-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

my shoe committed suicide today during pe.
oh my. And don't look down on short ppl k!
haha though i can't reach certain things,
but i'll try hard! hohoho.

Had tons of fun at compass with Airen today!
haha laughed like there's no tmr at little things.
hahaha taught her chinese and its damn funnaye.
I heart her oh so much.

Match against Sports School tmr! (:
We'll be out of northzone if we lose.
but its okay, we won't give up till the last moment! Treat it as a good exposure, and do your best. Even if you lose, you can tell yourself you've tried (: hahaha don't worry and dont' be too nervous, just JIAYOU! :D I need lots of encouragement tmr! (;

and Sng kept singing this song during cme.

It's summer, everybody's out
And you're right over there
I'm staring while you play around
With that pencil in your hair

It's sad, in your eyes
I'm just one of the guys
I'm so into you, you don't have a clue
There's nothing you can do to stop me now

I saved up for binoculars
I bought them last weekend
To watch you playing badminton
With all your slutty friends
Maybe it's time, I gave up, drew the line
My friends say I should, I wish that I could
But there's nothing they can do to stop me now

I call up your house, but I'm always out of luck
Keep hanging around, but that's never good enough
And you don't reply when I talk to you, I shout at you
But you don't blink an eye, it makes me wonder why

You got me falling, through noticing, the little things you do
Putting a hold right over me
Funny as it seems, you make me dream
Doing the little things, those little things you do

Just tell me those seven words,
and i promise i'll go.

You're blowing hot and cold,
what do you expect me to do?

Won't you tell me, yes you do too?

2006-02-14T23:29:00.000-08:00

Qing Ren Jie Kuai Le! :D

Won Woodlands Ring 5-0.
Play 1st singles, state of mind was ...
What on earth was i thinking about?
I really have no idea. Sigh.

However today was fine, not as bad as i thought it will be. I love all those who gave me stuffs k! hahaha. Be it presents, letters, or hugs! hahaha Gf's one is very innovative.

And i know i shouldn't be praising her, but still
My Valentine's is SUPER DUPER NICE k! :D:D:D
Okay, maybe not super duper, but still she's nice! (:
Be honoured ah Ah Loo!

After competition decided to meet Huiyan and all cos felt bad if were to throw Valentine alone. haha i'm not mean ok. Stupid, so compassed then cabbed to tm. Beast and Romeo didn't let me share a part to pay! haha.
So yeah, met Precious, then cabbed back to compass with beast. Kept my distance from her all through cab! haha stupid valentine. Then wanted to pay, but that baichi don't let me! Nice right? haha okay, maybe some will think that this kinda act is normal and all, but to me, small little acts like this is real sweet and nice!
ohmy, i can't believe i just said Beast is sweet. hohoho.

To Valentines/Beast! :D
hahaha thankyou so much for today alright! (:
Xiexie ni for everything.
The famous amos cookie cake with words is damn sweet la. hahaha thoughtful ah. haha i'll bring tmr so we can share the love around! (:
haha HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! :D and
HAPPY BEAUTY AND THE BEAST DAY! :D:D
Love much, cos many can be counted
wheres much can't (:

Oh and Dearest Precious! :D
Thankyou so much for waking up so early just to meet us alright! haha you rock la. And i miss you can, finally get to see you. haha and thanks for everything today too! hahaha I love you more than i can say, and yes outing soon (:

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you so you know

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one.

A song which many was addicted hmm lets say 1-2 years ago? but its memory were still as fresh as before.

I suppose you're better off like this.
I've never seen you smile that genuinely.
I guess you just need me no more.
and i need not be here anymore.
I think you just love me no more.

Miss me? Love me?
All the past, i can only put it all behind me.

See the lyrics of Notice me and
Don't love you no more.
Its nice, and i wonder..
if they were the things you wish to say.

There are many paths in life we have to choose to take,
Why not stop and take a break?

I feel so tired now.

2006-02-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

All i can say is, today is a SUPER BAD DAY ):

and yeah. and She picks on Sng and i alot. but never get to catch us cos we talk without opening our mouths much. And, today's mood was SO bad that when she said me, i didn't even bother to open my mouth to explain i wasnt day dreaming and that i got my question correct. Oh sigh.

Many agreed with me, BAD DAY. felt like strangling someone first thing in the morning. JOSCELYN ah! shakes head. I'm so happy for you, and can you like be more hmm say, caring? oh my. Care for _ more leh. Wanted to commit sucide with sucide partner. just kidding.

And threw husband to walk the aisle, cos there's competition and we'll miss assembly. Can't walk down the aisle with the umbrellas, sorry husband ): You said you didn't wanna walk with others, but its ok, other time yeah? Valentines hopes dashed, i'm sorry. See? how bad can things get.

And sng and ryl, don't be stupid la. I was just kidding when i say i'll go out to the road during recess and kena car bang. But i was really VERY ... you guys know during recess.

Training is really, forget it.
There's competition tmr, against Woodlands Ring.
If lose, really out of northzone.
Nvm, just JIAYOU.

Now i know how does it feel to hold everything back and push everything down to yourself. No matter how firm or strong your bottle is, it'll still explode. Oh sigh, mine explode today. Felt so stress and stuffs i thought about for these days just came to me during recess. Sorry all, scared you guys once again. Esp Gf and Romeo, you two did nth wrong la. I'm sorry i really don't want ppl to worry about me thats why i kept things down.
I believe i'm strong;
its just a believe.
i'm not on the inside.

What a bad Valentine's Day Eve. ):
I guess tmr would be worser though i can't imagine how badder it'll get.

And quarrelling with my Valentine has become my daily routine. She's so heartless la. hoho and greedy. Tsk. LI HUN then li hun lor. laughs.

I'm really sorry all.
Mood was really bad today.
Don't fret, i'll be fine tmr.
I guess i'd better be off, many things yet to do.

Everything's just going so wrong.

So tell me,
Do you still need me here?

Will you tell me how you really feel?
No lies, i've had enough of those.

If you ask, i won't conceive.

2006-02-12T21:34:00.000-08:00

i LOVE my SILLY too! :D
you're just so silly and sweet la (:

Valentine's coming, and most of us have burnt a hole in our pocket. How wonderful. hahaha. And i love my husband k! She's the nicest (: And hmm i hate to say this, but Sng's nice too. Helped me to carry my bag for the whole day at laselle :D

Today is superbly superb super retarded. Met mario, then minpei then number 1. Had fun yeah, and MARIO! whenever i see stairs now, it reminds me of just now. haha our slow motion fall. Oh my. And when we wanted to go home from number one's hse, we ending having photo taking session all over everywhere, on hills and blah. For going 1hour i guess. How self love can we get? hahaha you won't wanna know (:

I think cactus are much more nicer then roses can!
Why no one agree with me?
Oh well who cares. hahahaha.

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKO! :D:D:D
haha One year old alr huh! be a good girl alright! Stop running around like a mad horse on loose and bite ppl! hohoho.
I guess you must be thinking who's this,
heh she's my dog :D

I wanna become A Stronger Individual (;

She's always on my mind.
From the time i wake up, till i close my eyes.
She's everywhere i go.
She's all i know.
Though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday.

And even now she's gone, im still holding on.
So tell me where do i start,
Cause it's breaking my heart.
Don't wanna let her go.

My friends keep telling me, tht if you really love her.
You've gotta set her free.
And if she returns in kind, i'll know she's mine.
But tell me where do i start.
Cause its breaking my heart.
Dont wanna let her go.

Why i live in despair,
Cause wide awake or dreaming.
I know she's never there.
And all the time i act so brave, im shaking inside.
Why does it hurt me so ?

Maybe my love will come back someday,
Only heaven knows.
And maybe our hearts will find their way.
And all i can do, is hope and pray.
Cause heaven knows.

Heaven knows.

Okay, this is random again.
The song's melody is nice, heard it from somewhere.

Oh and there's fireworks now.
Pop! and it ended just like that.

I said maybe.

Tears in the night, Sorrow takes flight.

2006-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

you didn't mean it when you say it, isn't it?

2006-02-09T21:47:00.000-08:00

there's none who can understand.

Match was a blast! :D
Tried damn hard, played singles.
Great game, good exposure(:
Though lost to Xinmin, and great possiblity that we won't be able to enter nationals, but its okay! We've tried (:
Now, Jiayou for Tues and Thurs match. Win or lose, it doesn't matter now. Focus on the process and not the outcome.
Now, is to train hard tmr and on monday and wait for a miracle to happen! I'll not give up hope until the very last moment :D

and yay! sk won amk! three cheers :D:D:D

Ahhh there's THREE tests tmr and haven even study.
Only know of chinese test from belle online now.
wo de tian ah. And so many homework, haven do.
Now so tired, head is spinning after the match.
I bet i'll fall asleep halfway doing homework.
Yawns. Headache.

Was browsing through my messages,
and well, you know what that means.
oh sigh.

I know there nothing i can do,
except to embrace myself, face the fact,
not run away from reality, and ignore all things
that were left behind to remind me.

I used to think that i was strong,
until the day it all went wrong.

random.

Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all thats left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes,
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize.

No, i don't cry on the outside anymore.

I really do need to talk to someone.

I'm barely hanging on.

2006-02-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I'm fine people (:
Don't worry already yeah.
haha.

ystd had that stupid love talk.
brought up concerns and thoughts of many.
hahaha oh my.

And damn.
Draws for round 2 are out! ):
Sports sch, Xinmin and Woodlands Ring in our zone.
How wonderful.
Got a shock and all was damn sad la.
Have to win two schools to get into Nationals.
Which two will it be? I wonder..
Nvm, tmr both div against XINMIN.
Sigh, don't bother too much ppl.
Just do your best, and no matter how the ending is like, at least we can tell ourselves, we've tried. Remember self talk, and what we've trained so hard for. Have faith, if you think you can, you can :D Just gogo JIAYOU!(:

Balled alot today.
Damn shiok.
Sun was strong :D:D:D
i LOVE la. just realised got a bit burnt. yay :D

And. I was angry for the whole day for nothing yeah?
Stupid. Nvm, it gave me the moove to run during PE :D

I sometimes do wonder, why do things usually don't turn out like how we want it to be? hmm maybe if it does, then its not life anymore? i guess so.
Life's just so unpredictable.
but even if the ending disappoints us, don't fred. Because we've tried. What matter most is if we've enjoyed and live life to the fullest! :D

This song came back to me, so nice.

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the queston why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

i swear this is random(:

MAYBELLEsua(:
HAPPY HAPPY PRECIOUS DAY!
I so did not forget this day ok! you wait long long i also won't forget! I'm so sorry didn't go find you! Don't be angry ):
I really miss you alot alot.
Outing soon alright my Precious one.
Thanks for always being there to care, and you know, i'm here too(: I've been with you throu troubles, worries or sadness, and will continue till the end.
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
Be the hand that lifts your vail
Be the moon that moves your tides
And the sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheel that never rusts
And be the spark that lights you up(:
All that you been dreaming of and more
So much more I wanna be your everything(:
BE STRONG AND HAPPY Dearest!
I'm here always.

i just want to know the truth.

~~woduinifuchudeshangxin,niyongyuanbuliaojie,~~
~~woyouhekumianqiangzijiaishangnideyiqie?~~

and so the story goes.

2006-02-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

won bowen 4-1.
won match 15-7, 15-1.
Good, got said by coach. Was damn hurtful la. That time the male, now the female. Mrs Ho talked to me and ya, ohwell. Nvm i shall forget what she said.
into round 2 on thursday(:

And when ppl drive towards zebra crossing, can slow down anot?
i almost cannot sit down here ok. I still remember the carplate.
hoho.

yay free bird tmr!

Oh and did i mention?
i love to RUN.
somehow i feel.. better.

my god, silly's damn nice la :D

Don't worry, seriously.
Ive thought things over.

Oh, got ALOT other things to say,
but laptop gonna no batt, and i'm lazy to charge.
hahaha so tmr then!

you broke your promise.

2006-02-06T22:34:00.000-08:00

People who appears strong on the outside are usually weak on the inside. Guess what? I'm strong, on the outside.

I thank so so so much ppl for making a effort to cheer me up and talk to me.
Beast, for making that huge attempt though it didn't work, saying that you're after me and whatever nonsensical nonsense. Thanks(:
Airen for the sweet, which you know is my favourite(:
Everything nice, for those words of concern and letter.
Sam for going ard hugging ppl and concering.
Romeo for the lollipop.
Gf/stead for being there, and giving me that warm hug when i needed it.
Gf for the oh so sweet letter.
Mario for the shoulder and concern.
Tannie, Joanne, bestie and nic for trying to cheer me up.
Cecilia and owner for concerning online (:
Lastly, Number 1 who wrote down the lyrics of a song:

Someone broke your heart
Now its easy to give up
I'm telling you, its not the end.
It's not the end of the world.
Keep believing just a day
I promise you the clouds'll go away
And soon you'll see the sun
and find that someone..
Has anybody ever told you
How beautiful you truly are
Just a smile from you
can open up any heart.
You deserve that too,
Someone as you are.
I'm telling you its not the end.
Keep believing (:

How sweet right? I was super touched when reading this while going up to training la. Oh my.

I'm super sorry alright. To give you guys a shock. Wondering what happened to Eilis. hahaha so sorry, i feel bad for making ppl worry. I'm fine, its just that my water tap went lose today and forgot to repair.

I have SS test tmr and i think i better hurry off. I then don't wanna be her bestest friend and go drink tea with her! hahaha.

Tmr last match in Round 1!
hmm crucial, if lose then out of northzone.
No, choy! touch wood!
Jane and owner! Don't worry la!
IT won't affect me de.
Jane. Jiajia have hammy's promise, i will let go of every trouble in me and give my best in tmr's game. Don't worry, you're not stressing me. I will do my best (:
We can do it! Have faith.
Go SJC! (:

If you love some; set them free.
If they return; it was meant to be.
If they dont; they love was never meant to begin with.

we werent meant to be.

Though this lasted lest than a week.
but i really do treasure the past six days you've given me.
Be it the lollipops or different flavoured icecream,
I really hold on to whatever there is.
Thankyou for everything.

I'm OK ppl! Don't worry be happy ah.
Happy or not, you still have to go on with your life.
I believe tmr will be a better day! (:

but ppl,
i ain't that strong.

Singing Amen Im alive

2006-02-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

i wanted to blog something real sweet and meaningful, but i guess there's no need for it now ):

2006-02-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

i love, SURPRISES (:

i look like a idiot carrying the Patrick around.
so it went through a taf programme held by me.
its so skinny now :D

Please cheerup Boyfriend! (:

!ANOUNCEMENT.
Anyone wish to attend the EVERYTHING NICE funeral?
It will be held tmr, venue to be confirmed later.
Anything please contact the ppl who're dieing,
Sheryl and Eilis.
Thankyou very much.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMsng! :D:D:D
hope you've thought things through. think before you talk and don't say i'm your... Hope scolding you was worth it and! please don't hit your knuckles against walls, its no use it solving things which have been done. I want to try how pain it is, but i before i do so i'd ask myself, What for? (;

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing, oh
Like a boat out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dream comes true (:

i made a wish (;

2006-02-01T22:51:00.000-08:00

brocolli cousin so !!!
nvm, i shall be nice and not talk about it (:
FORGIVE AND FORGET (:

!almost died-ed when carrying home something meant for someone. Hand was like super red and pain la. After training and had to strain muscles to hold up the thing. haha cos the thing was too long for me, kept hitting the ground. ok fine, i admit i'm short. Someone taller than me by one head, very good. ONE DAY, i'll be talking to you, looking down :D

Against Holy tmr!
gonna play singles.
Jiayou everyone (:
Go go go!

you got me worried ):
silly stupid baichi.

Cos aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint no one in the globe id rather see.

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

2006-01-31T23:04:00.000-08:00

2905

hmm i forgot what happen the past few days,
have been visiting and all.
haha and today was (((:
oh i got smth to warn everyone who wear heels.
DO NOT WALK ON DRAINS. hahaha.
And some baichi is very busy going ard looking at people's blog. haha oh and she claims i can mention her also, so i shall. hahaha stupid.

oh and Gf!
Please don't put up a bravefront and all.
Who says no one knows how you feel? I do.
I've been through this before remember?
Cheerup my dear. And if you think strangling me like how you did today cheers you up, go on doing so! I don't mind, as long as you're happy (:

The baichi one that makes me (((:
boyfriend (:

you know i love you too(:

2006-01-29T22:29:00.000-08:00

I love my boyfriend! (:

i won't throw you aside(:

2006-01-29T21:37:00.000-08:00

It must be loneliness or jealousy,
it can't be true.
~~icantbefallingforyou.~~

No worries,
I'd give in. (:
I've done it so many times, for my friends.
And i think number 1 knows me the best (:

I've no courage to fight for my own happiness ):
and i'd rather not if somethings suffer in the process.

I hope to accpomplish another couple,
though you'll never know what i've done.

To greatest so ever SAMsng;
You're so dead when i see you on wed.
SHHH! hahaha. And stop putting on your nick to ask me NOT to give in or you'll kill me will you? Help me out in bringing them tgt ok? please larrrr. i beg you. hahaha. but we shalln't bet on anything ok? i don't want to make it seem like a game, and its her choice. so its kinda bad playing with this kind of things.
and, stop saying its impossible ok!
The earth is round, ANYTHING can happen (:
Alright, i think only this idiot understands.

haha i so needed someone to rant on just now and i hate to say this, i'm glad Sam came along (: Handphone, don't worry alright, i'm glad you said it out. Alright, shall continue my talk with this great online now. haha.

hmm and to Gf;
No worries alright?
As i've said, The earth is round, ANYTHING can happen.
So why not hope for the BEST?
At least at the end of the day, you can tell yourself, you've tried.
You know what i mean.
No matter what happen, remember i'm behind you, giving all the support that you need.
Cheerup and find your positive self back.
I love you alot too (:

oh and XING NIAN KUAI LE to all! :D

I think Love has indeed caused alot of troubles to all. Cheerup ppl, seriously. I think its a complicating matter, and its too cheem for me to understand. Its time to start anew people! (:

but i really do enjoy reading the msges you sent me over and over (:

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find

The courage to show
to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinkin' about
Takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know what my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
if I let you go

Night after night
I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm to shy to ask
I'm to proud to lose
But sooner or later I've gotta choose
And once again I'm thinkin' about
Taking the easy way out

you make me sm:)e.

2006-01-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY GF DAY (:
you're welcome for everything :D

I've realised that i shalln't laugh when climbing stairs.
Its tiring (:

today was alright, kinda fun (:
oh and we have to carry tables and chairs for every CD lessons. how wonderful.
went cristabelle's hse after school.
i love her hse, i want to go back there! :D
and had talks with tannie and mario (:

And don't i look like a straight to you?
ohmy. hahahahahahaha.

oh and i think the song Little things which i got to know from Ryl is damn nice. It was stuck inside my head. Lyrics are oh so meaningful huh. hahaha.

Hmm i've realised the topic Love has brought alot of people dismay. Oh dear, cheerup all my friends (: And i hope that love won't dishearten friendships. Amen to all.

hmm all i have to say is,
Never hurt those who loves you.

don't underestimate the power of love (:

2006-01-26T22:21:00.000-08:00

hmm kind of tired of blogging and all. yawns. and yay, finished my maths homework before coming online. cheers. but there's still chinese. yawns.

chinese new year is here! yay?'
all please takecare and drink more water!
the virus is spreading, so rest well so as not to fall sick!

"
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

i've decided to change my style of time,
cos i know i must move on with life (:
so ppl, my entries are showing correct times now!
haha.

~~ifeelsoneutralnow(:~~

putting it down isn't as easy as bringing it up.

2006-01-23T23:37:00.000-08:00

The True File of a Young Girl,
based on real life experiences.

Everyone just have had enough of the nonsenses that Mandy created,
it's causing much much more unrest than usual,
alot of unhappiness happened all because of her.
She loves attention as much as adoring herself,
but unknowingly, she doesnt know her unpopularity among several.
Masks being put up infront of her at times when she maybe nice,
however, when our backs are turned,
her true colours will show.
Plenty have to bear with her evil doings,
letting her pushing them down the cliff.

Note: please do not read, if you are those kind who thinks alot.

Case One
Secrets are meant to be kept,
and yet Mandy exposes others' secrets,
in exchange for her own fame.
She may have gained the fame, but the trust were lost.
However, some of her loyal friends did not believe what did she do,
and continued believing her and it let to more dismay.
Lesson learnt: Do not trust oneself that easily.

Case Two
Putting words into others' mouth.
Telling a different side of story to a big audience,
creating opposition towards an innocent.
Framing her up, false opinions led to many stirred up opposition.

Case Three
Making use of others to let herself be notice,
likes to steal the limelight.

Case Four
Being close to others' Sweethearts,
in order to stand out in the crowd,
this caused much jealousy and anger within.
Mandy thought that it's fun doing so,
while others hold a grudge in their hearts.

Up till now,
the spoilt Mandy is still not aware of the troubles she have stirred up,
and the many oppositions right infront of her.

Sigh, visit 77th Street and Get a Life.

May she change her old ways, and repent.

Authors: Precious's Precious, and Precious's Precious.

2006-01-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

Oh my, almost sprained my ankle when play ball.
but luckily luck was on my side (:

Train super singles duper hard today, ran like i never run before. Am glad that my efforts in winning wanting paid off (: Was very tired at the end, and tmr am partnering Airen! yay! Gonna strive hard tmr! Gonna be pretty not use to doubles tmr, cos very long never play, but still Jiayou! Never say die and go go go! (:

lets go sjc! :D

HAPPY R&J DAY! (:

oh dear, do you really anjoy all these attention?
something is really wrong with you.
bless you.

Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

you can't lose what you never had.

2006-01-22T20:59:00.000-08:00

I never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we cant change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know its better if we just let it go

I know one shouldn't give up easily,
but i've tried hard enough.
I guess, its time.

I must move on with my life (:

Only left with eyes to see,
and no heart to feel.
i need no one now (:

i'm sorry for everything.

2006-01-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

i'm going back to someone who exist,
only in my memory (:

You've changed,
and times are different now.
but i know,
the you who's in my past,
hasn't changed at all (:

Number 1! I'm not some sicko who lives in my fantasy alright! Its just that i'm holding on to smth, which only exist in the past. And its memory, not fantasy (:

Its true that we must learn to forget people,
but as miss tan said,
i should give myself a break now,
and untie those hurtful knots when i'm ready to face them.
The 7 page long message she sent me the day before competition really made me think or rather reflect, alot. The talks that i have with her, are always meaningful and moralising.

There are many paths one can take, its up to whether or not we've noticed them, or whether we choose to take them or not. We shouldn't give up easily, because, whats doing your best when you're not even trying hard? (:

oh and
HAPPY belated AIREN DAY!
I love you like i don't know what.
thanks for always being there,
like i'm always being here.
hahaha sorry about you kow what! haha
and lets JIAYOU in badminton! (:

oh and i think the Schnappi song number 1 sent me is damn cuteeee la! laughs :D

"
Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I dont cry on the outside anymore

Goodbye my lover/

2006-01-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

two more days!

Ahhh i'm not allowed to play basketball tmr! and tmr tmr!
ohman. Anyway, Mr tan was nice, treated us to pizza during recess :D

saw sylvester sim(the real one) at compass today! hahaha. and i know Airen loves my liangpopo way of laughing and running! hahaha. oops, i mean huhuhu! :D

hmm i need someone to study with me!
I want my A1s :D

oh dear, flu's coming up!

i don't see that much devotion anymore.
ohwell, i've should have seen it coming.

Why do you have to come in between everytime?
Oh, so you enjoy all those attention. Alright, i see.
get a life.
thankyou.

I seriously don't understand you.
Really, i don't.

Why not show it instead of say it?
actions speak louder than words.

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I really am,
sorry.

I don't mind being only your friend,
and help you until the end.

I will never let you know,
how do i really feel right now.

2006-01-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

ok, a BIG beeeeee flew in and i got a shock cos it landed on my shirt? gosh.

hmm school bag is heavy, very infact.
but i guess, my heart is even heavier.

Throat is starting to feel very pain,
and cough's coming up i guess.
Ahhh i need endless supply of water in school!
but i can't refrain from playing basketball during recess! ):
its the thing that i look forward to in school.

Ahhh. I'm like hmm stress, upset, worried, confused or whatever.
Sigh. Competition is coming, Thurs against St Nicks, at their school.
hmm might not be playing, too many singles. Almost can't take it when talking to miss tan. She asked if i'm ready to play on thurs, i said okay, but i'm more prepared not to play. I know i shouldn't be so pessimistic! but there are some facts we must face. Its better to prepare for the worst. hmm she understands, and thought of the past, and the messages she sent me. ohman.

hmm at first was very upset and all, hearing from Airen and everything. She've been throu smth like this before, but it turned out well for her.
hmm for me? i don't hope for the best for myself, i hope for the best for others (:
I hope lynette hurry get well soon! I'd rather she play then me! Cos i know how does it feel like to train so hard, and a certain injury/sickness cos you to be unable to play. Airen saying letting it out will feel better, but i'd rather not do it infront of ppl. So ppl, don't mention this to me alright! I'd cry, haha i will. righttt. but i've grown, and am strong. No more tears eilis! :D
Nvm, i still have another year! (:

Okay! I've promised myself to study real hardddd
and substain A1 for every subject! (yeah i wish.)
Alright, nvm i shall just do my best and make up for my past two lazy years that have gone to waste! Going off soon! study for some test? hoho/

cheerup everyone who's sad! (:
shyer 2; don't think so much alright! Things will turn out fine, i'm here to lend you a listening ear my friend! (:

maybe its really cos i can't forget the past.
I'd rather give up all that i've got
for the welfare of others (:

i don't mind giving up my happiness,
inexchange for your happiness.
but i hope its worth it.
Even if it hurts, i'm prepared.
All the best (:

~~canyounotbesuchadespo?~~

~~imsorryifieverhurtyou.~~

happy enough just to see.

2006-01-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

screw you.

2006-01-14T22:59:00.000-08:00

i wonder why do my head tend to turn,
whenever i know you're near?

i guess there are somethings in life that we must learn
to give up and let go.

i feel like a pig today, slept till 12+, then slept at 1+ again till 5+! ohgod.

i'm bored, shyer 2 is entertaining me :D

Thought id got over it
Thought id passed the phase
Thought everythin was normal again
But i fell right back to my amaze
Thought it was just a little game
That satisfied me for awhile
But now i got to tell you
That im wanting someone else

i need all the courage in the world,
to make it known to you.
but i still can't forget the past.

it pays to say a little lie.

2006-01-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

ohya, draws for Northzone is out!

C div grouping;
SJC, evergreen, and mayflower.

B div;
SJC, St nicks, christchurch, holy innocents and bowen.
oh man, only can afford to lose to one sch.
Only top two in the group can proceed.

First match on thursday; 19th.
venue and opponent, i've no idea.
haha oh well.

2006-01-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

back from camp.
it was hmm so-so?
I prefer Sec 2 camp, it was different back then.
Didn't get to do high elements, minpei was very happy? but i'm like so disapponted la. argh.
Eating the chicken, reminded me of smth..
haha i wonder what? :D

And joanne was so mean la! Was laughing at ppl, joscelyn for i don't know what and bestie for blinking eyes and biting nails? haha but joanne was damn funny.

Enjoyed campfire.
I've got new friend! Its 3F. haha we were fighting and all after campfire, as in literally. hahaha people present will know. haha but in the end we said peace and became girlfriends(GandF) (:

oh and I love 3G.

There are many things i wonder;
Won't you tell me how you feel?
Do you feel the same way too?

The urge of finding you in the crowd,
is too irresistable.

It must be loneliness or jealousy,
this can't be true.
~~icantfallingforyou.~~

Those simple words hit so hard
They turned my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On that night you said to me
I just dont love you no more

Alright,
I'd better be off now!
Shyer #2 is waiting for me to go off then she'll sleep.
hahaha silly bird.

oh and,
HAPPY GF ONE YEAR!
Friday 13th.
to phyllis, huiyan, linsin, olivia and nicole (:
love love love.

Just let time pass it by.

2006-01-10T22:59:00.000-08:00

Alright, since lynette says my posts are depressing,
this shalln't be one!
haha i'm very happy, cos i went on a shopping spree!
like yay! bought hmm skirts, tops, shoes, wallet!, and dress?!
haha oh my, me? In a dress? Laughs right.
haha but for the wedding dinner, guess i'll have to.
Oh god, ppl who have the impression that i'm rough,
i shall not let you see me in it (:
oh yeah saw quite a few ppl, shar, kexin, xiaoqing, steph, cathy, and erm eh etc.

Off to camp tmr, to friday! Great great day (:

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I saw you today.

Bruised and battered by your words,
dazed and shattered now it hurts.

2006-01-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

Alright, i'm pretty lazy to blog about the past few days.
yawns.
Today was great (:
be it schooling, basketballing or training.

sorry to all that i can't make it for those outings.
other time alright! (:
Shopping tmr with dad! :D

Oh god, i dunno how i'm feeling right now.
Someone now reminds me of someone.
And i almost become a _ because of someone.
oh my, i so messed up.

but i've noticed how disappointed i was when
i thought i won't get to see you again.

ohya, was going through some friendster pictures,
saw in someone's picture, smth which i got for _ in the past.
How much coincidence and fate can that be?
That someone who reminded me of someone.
ohgod, memeries are back.
Be it sweet or sad.
Move on?

I guess it's not feelings returned,
its just memories of the past.
i hope.

I've learned not to show my sadness out.
I guess its better this way (:

~~Ystdwasagoodgoodday.~~
~~HAPPYPRECIOUSDAY5THANNI.~~
~~ILOVEMAYBELLESUALIKETHERE'SNOTMR(:~~

Go on and copy if you want Precious! :D

Couldn't foresee the day you'd ever be leaving me.
How could i let my world
Slip through my hands baby.
I took for granted that you knew,
Oh love, the love i had for you.
I guess, you never had a clue,
'till it was too late,
You walked away.

~~whyisthislovesohardtoletgo?~~

Before doing some decisions,
do you tend to think,
Is it all worth it?

Hmm but i guess,
No matter what the answer is,
Yes or No,
You'd still hold on to whatever you have in mind.

Thats how predictable one can be.

better not to love.

2006-01-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before

And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go?

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame
we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose

And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out.

this is so random.

will blog about the fun yesterday later :D
and today is a special day (:

for you my only one.

2006-01-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

training was alright.

i somehow find your character is down to the earth.
Why must you see me as a competitor?
Losing to me seem to bring in your hatred.
Finding excuses for the wrongdoings you've done.
Why can't people just brave up and face reality?
This is what i think.

oh and yay! i can't wait for campfire,
and the last day of camp; the 13th; black friday; a special day (:

No, you can't possibly be the one.

My heart's been thirsty
My spirit's runnin' dry
And I think I feel a drop of rain
I see the lightning
Strikin' the sky
Sometimes a stone can bring a change
Now your love comin' back
Like the water all around me
This feelin' here inside
Is rising like a tide to the sea

can't you understand?

2006-01-05T20:59:00.000-08:00

I grew! And, went library again today! i'm such a good girl (: Want to know what kind of books we borrow? hahaha. Gf and lobster came and say hi, and the mib had to come and say us.

Why do you have to leave? ):

"
Why I live in despair
'Cause while awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all these time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?

I found someone who's so alike you (:
but you will never be replaced.

oh and i can't believe you're a..
oh my.

~~iamheretosay,iheartthispersonalotalot.~~
~~justwanthertoknowthatwe'llneverdriftapart,~~
~~andimissherso.~~
~~thispersonismaybellesuawhomibetisreadingthisbycopyingandpaste.~~
~~soPrecious,youknowimissyouandheartyoualot(:~~

Woah, what a convenient way to leave a message huh? :D

and she will be loved.

2006-01-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

Precious is very sly! She actually go and copy, paste and upsize my small words! Oh my. hahaha. i want to learn how to do the anti-copy html! :D

Yay! Played basketball during recess. I miss (:

Chua Minpei! I was like so no face la. We went toilet, and eh saw this erm girl. And she reminded me of someone. Ehem, then i mouthed to minpei the name. Then, without knowing she pushed me! And i almost like bang into her. Then i stare at minpei, then she pushed me again! And this time i almost bang into eh another girl . Ohgod. And for your info minpei did all this on purpose. Coughs. Apparently she think i eh erm forget it. hahaha. Slyer/ (:

And minpei can't wait to start art yeah?
and stay back after school. haha i wonder why?

but all this bang bang thing reminded me suddenly of a sweet memory (:
All seems so familiar, as if happened before (:

Trial tmr for new sec 1s after school! Will be wearing new jersey and skort? laughs. but oh well, have to try out. Yupp.

And i'm a good girl, i borrow books home to read! :D

Oh and don't worry about me,
I'm happy (:

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand laughs have made me colder
And I dont think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when Im dreaming of your face

It must be loneliness or jealousy,
it can't be true.

You forced me to become strong
When I just craved being weak

2006-01-03T22:59:00.000-08:00

i'm officially a sec 3! (:

School's alright, but training was pretty bad.
Owner wasn't in best of her mood, and i started to think Yes, everything is bad. Oh sigh. Shots not done well, and stitch or dunno what came along. oh my oh my. but realise if a shot is dropping, and i really don't even try to save it, it definately won't go over, but if i try and stretch, at least there's a possibility that it'll be over! oh, i should have know this ever since i start playing badminton, but.. oh well. Still, tried to stretch, ahhh headache now ):

Ahhh got deprive of my shopping spree ystd! dad was unwell, so had to cancel the trip. sigh, everything seem so weird.

Tears fall, down your face
The taste, is something new
Something that I know
Moving on is, easiest when I am around you.

you're just another false alarm.

~~woxuanzhefangqi,shiyinweiwotaiaini.~~

2006-01-02T14:59:00.000-08:00

Precious,
I know what i'm doing now is very silly of me.
Respect my decision,
and hold on to the promise you made me ok?
Promise me.

I'd rather pretend,
then to add a burden to your troubles.

As long as i'm the only one getting hurt,
i'm fine with it.

Tell me,
that what i'm doing now is all worth it.

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

If you're happy, then why do you cry?

i'm sorry i lied.

2006-01-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

my front is brave,
but my back is hiding away.

2006-01-01T21:59:00.000-08:00

i'd rather keep all sadness to myself.
but

i'm tired of crying.

2006-01-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

Too many things were left unsaid.

2005-12-31T15:59:00.000-08:00

beginning of an end.

Drenched.
What a nice weather to think things through.

Stayed over at marc's, and mahjonged throughout the night. :D

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

"To let true love remain unspoken,
is the quickest route to a broken heart."

Now i'm here,
I have to be strong.
Why can't i feel confidence?
It hurts so bad inside.

I'm tired.

itcan'tbetrue.
couldibeinlovewithyou?
itmustbejealousyorloneliness
itrytodeceivemyself
butican'thidemyfeelings
~~ithinkiloveyou.~~

2005-12-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

Father didn't want me to go trgn.
but still, insist on going.
Sigh.
oh and racket first string snap. oh man.

Compassed.
Then went toapayoh with airen.
Was searching for some place.
Called xiaojing cos its near her sch, but she's having trgn at that time i guess. called me back and i know she thinks i go there to see her! oh god. laughs.
Then down to ps.
Walked ard and i went off to meet family.
Father is so nice, he's gonna get me alot of things (:
but too bad i met them late, so some other time.

i'm fine, i really am.
thankyou all for caring.
many many loves.

I've thought things through.
Right from the start,
I should have seen it coming.
Now, there's nothing i can do.
Its not the end yet.
but even if it is,
An end depicts the start of a new beginning.
So i'll just have to do my very best
and someday, i'll know.

Sigh,
and the person so important to my badminton life just msged me.
She said this,
"Putting up a bravefront and cheerful front is good,but knots at the heart must be slowly untangle so that you will feel the joy in life"
I still can't believe the one who understands me and have faith in me is leaving the team.

I almost thought of giving up.
but i know i can't,
and don't want to.

I don't know what the future holds.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

the past can't be rewritten.

2005-12-28T21:59:00.000-08:00

Today's friendlies was great :D
all thanks to the sec ones for their GO SUPER MARIO that i won my match. haha ((:
mrs ho told me she thinks 3 of them look like boys, and xiaojing was one of them. laughs. anyway thankyou ijtp for coming down today ((:

am glad i told airen my fears without breaking down, and managed to keep my voice quite steady. but after parting, i was made to fight back all my tears.

msged a very significant person in my badminton life. She seemed to know how i'm feeling without me telling. Its all thanks to her faith in me that made me become who i am today, and now someone else is gonna take over her place, things won't be the same anymore. And that someone new, don't have that much faith the first have in me. I'm on my own now.
i have to be strong.

No matter how does this end, i have to face it. This does not involve me alone, i have to take things by my stride and live with it. There's nothing i can do other than being positive. Today was the day that made me realise. The competition is bigger than it seems. I focused so much on an unnecessary problem until i neglected another bigger trouble that is closing onto me. But i can't lose my fighting spirit or it'll be the end of me.
Still, I am afraid.

A thousand and one fears inside of me,
but none knew, or cared.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because they are gone,
Lessons learned.

the thing which i thought can cheer me up,
brought me down.

my tap went loose today
and it can't seemed to be repaired. )':

2005-12-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

Friendlies today was fun fun fun.
thanks sk for coming down (:
Left hander game with lisa stacy and shamin was hilarious.
but wasn't well during afternoon's trgn.
endured the pain.
got the jackets and everything today! :D
Friendlies again, tmr against ijtp ((:

Some say the best solution is to search your heart for whatever answer,
to know if its true.
but to me, I think the best and simplest solution is,
not face it at all.

Perhaps,
Thats the courage i'm lacking.

See this is real talk
I'm always stay
Good or bad
Right or Wrong
Now if you're down on love or don't believe
This ain't for you
And if you got it deep in your heart
And deep down you know that it's true
Well, let me see you put your hands up
Fellas tell your lady she's the one

I believe i know what is it that i want.
but once again,
I've no will no face it.

Why do sad songs sadden people? ):

Happy Gf Day! ((:

2005-12-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

oh yay!
watched narnia.

and yay!
asked pam to play Right on time and she passed it for the first time. She played it dunno how many zillion times but never passed before! hoho. she say she's happy today! cos she passed it and its infront of me. and i told her to always have faith in herself, hurray!

ohyes and its been long since i last saw my aunty! (:

and thanks Precious and lobster for the gifts!
and aunty for the card(:

Friendlies tmr in sch!

The emptiness of what could be
Shows everything you mean to me
It started out a game I'd never played
If I defy the foolish pride
And find that place so deep inside
Take me to my dream, I know I have to stay

there are things i regret.

2005-12-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

If i were to tell you all how i feel,
Will you guys understand?
I can't help but think of the past.
I really don't understand.
How did all those really come by?
Will you guys try to understand me? )':

The times when you all threw me all alone.
I tried to be strong.
I thought i was, but it all went wrong.
I thought i can be strong now,
since its over,
but i can't.

I know i should put it all my fears behind me,
but the scars run deep.
I am afraid.

"the past shook me really badly.

Thinking of the past i ~~smiled~~teared.
Thinking of the present i sighed.

If it worth to lose your direction of life while loving?

2005-12-24T20:59:00.000-08:00

Maybe my love will come back some day
And maybe my heart will find its way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows.

Why I live in despair
'Cause while awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all these time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so?

I don't know.

If Life is all about love,
I think most of us would be dead by now.
So why not look at other things?

What really make your life worthwhile?

2005-12-23T23:59:00.000-08:00

Wednesday.
Went to do noticeboard in the morning.
Compassed and realised its really late, rushed home and down to ps.
Though the bbq at east coast didn't really seemed like a class bbq, cos only 11people turned up! Nine from clique. haha. Okay, want to know what happen go read hmm minpei, jamie, mel, rah, maddy, joanna, kailing's blog. Alright, i'm lazy.

but i can say we played a whole BIG box of sparkles and screamed and made wished and threw them into the sea, in the end realising that whole big box belonged to another family who placed it too near our stuffs. Cos one thought the other brought it, the other thought another brought it. Opps, heh. but we had superb fun(:

And! I've never rode anyone one a bike before if you realise. The very first person was my dearest MooMoo/First Timer! (((: And i'm the first rider she sat on! At first she was scared, and say sure can't, and though in my mind i knew i can't, i kept saying no la, cancan must trust me! so she did, and i had faith! And we had a pleasant journey though she screamed sometimes when i turn. hahaha. And she did not stand on the bike. Cos don't have the stand. She was sitting infront of me! haha and my leg hurts. haha but nvm, train leg muscles! :D

Thursday
Overslept and was super duper late for notice board. reached school and had to train. hungry! didn't eat. Now the hall has SIX courts and the flooring's changed. The hall seemed bigger to me. haha. Training's alright. but pt, Footwork is super tiring.

Watched KINGKONG today. like yay!
hmm.

Next week
Tuesday- Friendlies against Sengkang, in our school at 9.30am.
After that in the afternoon there's trgn.
Wednesday- Planned friendlies with IJTP, in our school at 12.30pm.
People have a heavy breakfast please (:

"
I never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we cant change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know its better if we just let it go

Who am i to know?
forget it.

Sometimes, people just tend to take things
For granted. And,
So do i.

2005-12-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what life is about?

2005-12-18T18:59:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand ):

I'm stuck between myself.
Between a choice i want to make
and a choice i should make.

Let time prove it right?
or
Let time pass it by?

Should i start anew?
and long for another
Beautiful awaitment.

i don't know.

I believe I know what is it that i want.
but i've no will to face it.
Then, i'd rather not.

I've yet another confession to make.
but no.
I won't confess as yet.

you felt it don't you?

2005-12-17T22:59:00.000-08:00

I stand tall, but i fall,
the moment i think of you.

Have you seen your sunset,
Fade beneath a raincloud?
Have you ever chased your dreams away?
Did you ever think that
Life was just a highway.
A neverending road of lonely days.

Life is like a game.
There's no limited amount of people required to participate.
If you want to join,
You'll enter this Life.
but if you choose to quit,
You'll step out of this Life.

There are Winnings,
there are Loses.
I've won some, i've lost some.
but i still continued with this bumpy journey to a perfect life.

but of cos, halfway through,
i've always lost.
Cos there's no perfection.
but i still held on.

The Ups and Downs of the game,
has brought me both to my highest and lowest points.
but i must thank alot of ppl for letting me realise.

There are rules to obey.
My rule is,
Be yourself.

I'm already playing this game.
The Game of Life.
Am i winning or losing?
I have no idea.

but no matter what,
I will continue this game.
Be it alone or not.
I want to see what lies in the future ahead(:

So people,
Lets play a game.
A game called,
The Game of Life(:

Do you want to play this game with me?

I forgot,
who am i to ask?

no longings,

but missings.

~~imissyou.~~

2005-12-15T20:59:00.000-08:00

Game of Love?
Not my type of game.

2005-12-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

Do you have anything to tell me?
Right from the bottom of your heart.

Pressure is closing on me.
The competition is too big.

I'm starting to fear.

I am afraid,
Very afraid.

"
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart.
but the very next day
You gave it away.
This year,
to save me from tears.
I'll give it to someone special.

Just follow your heart
and Go with your feelings.
One day you'll find the long lost feeling
Of being loved.

Think it through.

What if i say i need someone now?

/Ease my fears.

2005-12-13T20:59:00.000-08:00

b div won Anderson 3-2
c div lost Anderson 2-3.
And i lost my match.
Yupp. Am very disppointed, but nevermind.
There's always tmr.

Tmr against Cedar Girls, at their school.
Owner say their singles is strong,
but nevermind if i lose, just focus on the process and not the outcome.
I'll just have to do my very best. Jiayou!

The spinning thing at TM's rooftop playground really got my head spinning. Felt unwell all the way after that. Had the vomitting sensation.
Anyway went Hg mall in the evening with Airen, Erer, Dottie and Victoria. Had so much laughter until my stomach is superbly pain. Laughs. They'l know the details. hahaha.

"
I see a rainbow and I think of you
Of what we had, of what we were
And then I think of what I have to do
If only I had listened for a while

`
Way back before now,
That sudden call you gave me,
Really held me up.

Just receiving a msg from me,
You thought i was down.
Thats why the call you gave me
Was full of anxious and rush.

I was really afraid,
Walking back home alone in the dark.
but that call you gave me,
somehow calmed me down.

My mind was full of Angels,
instead of scary Devils.

Though a friend's concern it only was,
I still held on to whatever there is.

Now it've become the past
A year ago i have to say,
How sweet you were back then.

Anyhow made this up. hahaha. Abit poemtic right? haha. Must learn to compose poem! Pure lit won't accept b3s! hoho. Told Airen the true story and she says its very sweet too. haha.

how true.

2005-12-12T21:59:00.000-08:00

tmr friendlies with Anderson.
at tampines 10 to 12.
Yupp. Jiayou!

Actually,
I kinda hope that you'll be there.

Today's pcube was very saddening.

I'd rather hold back all my fears.

You can feel so lonely even when
you're in a crowded place.

"
I see an angel and she sees me too
And as she wipes a teary eye
I know exactly what I have to do
To start a new beginning in my life

Something to ponder about.
Is it easy not to love?

2005-12-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

Suddenly had flu today.
Now it worsened.
How to survive tmr's training?
Or rather, the whole week's.
Pray that i'll get better overnight.

ohyes,
had the sweetest dream ever today.
thats why slept so soundly even with all the noise my sister made. hoho.
i don't mind dreaming that lovely dream again even though its kinda silly.
Am gonna keep it to myself.
hohoho.

"
Everything Changes but
Beauty remains
Something so tender
I can't explain
Well I may be dreaming
But still lie awake
Can we make this dream last forever

And they say dreams come true.
though i doubt mine will,
and neither will i want it to,
but i still wonder..

Alright, my flu is really terrible.
I'd better be off.

/You made me realise

how faithful i can be.

2005-12-09T14:59:00.000-08:00

I'm back.
Chalet is fun.
Many silly games.
But didn't really sleep.
Glad that we're all more bonded(:
I'm now abit chaota.
Glad(:
I love the sun :D

Next whole week am occupied with badminton.
mon, tues, thurs, fri all training.
wed friendlies against Cedar.
I want to train train train.
Focus and let my troubles be,
away.

ohyes,
you're such a faker

"
Dont say one more word
At this point the truth seems observed
Cut to the word
If gone forever

Yawns.
I'm tired.
Physically and Mentally.

I've no wish to put on a inverted "u" on my face.

/bottledup.

I'm really tired now.